YOUTHS AND RELATIONSHIP: DATING AND COURTSHIP

BY Pastor Mrs. Blessing Titiloye

CHOICES THAT WILL MARK YOUR LIFE OUT FOR GREATNESS AND GLORY ARE MADE WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG… Bro. Gbile Akanni

For every dimension of greatness; there is a price to be paid… Apostle Joshua SELMAN

Let me quickly share this short story to start.

As a young girl in JSS3, I had a classmate that got pregnant and died when she attempted to abort the pregnancy. It was a very touching incident. That was what made me make up my mind at age 12 to marry as a virgin and to be married to a handsome man. God made my aspiration a reality. Praise be to God!

I will like to start with a true-life story narrated by Bro Gbile Akanni. He was invited to preach at a Professor’s daughter wedding in 1985. You can imagine the cream of the society seated; profs, docs, business moguls, high ranking Government officials that were there.

He preached about principle upon principle of how God designed the marriage home to work. He also shared living testimonies of how the principles have worked both in his life and several homes that he watches over.

After the service, two people came to him one after the other. The first man, quite elderly, looked at him, adjusted his spectacles, and said-  ”Young man I wish I met you in 1943. If I had met you forty-two years ago and heard what you are preaching now, I would not be what I am today. What can I do now? I have spoilt my life, I have wasted my marriage, and I didn’t even know where to begin again. I wish I had met you then. Where were you, when I just married? – He added rhetorically.

The second person was also the wife of one of the university professors. She walked up to me, looked at me with eyes full of regret, and said…

Well, I thank you for all you have said. For me, it is too late but I am going to buy the message tapes for my daughter so that she will not go the way I went.

The man of God said throughout that day he could not get their words out of his mind.

 SO, A MAN CAN HEAR THE WORD OF GOD TOO LATE! So, wrong choices made early in life may never be correctable again later on in life!

Therefore it is a privilege for being a youth

Youth is the time of life when one is young. It is the time between childhood and adulthood (maturity). Youth is characterized by young appearance, freshness, vigor, spirit, etc.

• It is a time when notable adjustment can be done to one's life

It is important to talk about the age range for youth.

What is the youth age range?

According to UN definition; it is the ages of 15 and 24 years. However, it is expedient we look inward and make this session practical. I will like to categorize tonight youths from ages 13 to 35 years. This is because sexual sin does not exempt teenagers and it is necessary for our teens to be educated on the matter of sex and sexual purity.

IDIOSYNCRASY OF THE 21^ST CENTURY DATING RELATIONSHIP

What is dating? It is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship. These people will hang out on a regular basis, and they may or may not be having sexual relations.

Technology and social norms have changed the way people date in the 21^st century. Most activities involved in dating are carried out these days through:

1.    Technology like chat room romance, call romance, SMS romance, video romance, image romance, voice note romance, live stream romance etc. All these are virtual romance.

2.    Kiss/ non-virtual romance- kiss introduces sex hormones and proteins that make either male or female partners more sexually receptive. So having a kiss with someone you have not been joined in marriage to is SIN and the Bible tells us to FLEE. Even a French kiss between two unmarrieds is very risky and absolutely unnecessary.

3.    The 21^st century dating relationship is typically having a sexual relationship without a long-term commitment.

4.    Prostitution- whatever that involves an exchange of sex for money, help, admission, job etc. is nothing but prostitution.

5.    Fun and crimes: some people date to commit a crime like using one's partner to commit fraud

COURTSHIP

There is Christian/ Biblical courtship which is the alternative to dating. Dating does not have a basis in Christendom. As a matter of fact, the originator of the word ‘dating’, George Ade in 1896 was a fraternity. We, therefore, must follow what has been tested and approved by the word of God.

 So looking at the meaning of biblical courtship which involves intending couples, courtship then has a specific expectation and comes with a long-term commitment called marriage.

I will like to share my single/ courtship experiences under the below headings so as to apply all that I have been teaching you since.

NEVER GIVE UP

As at January 2018, I, Pastor (Mrs) Blessing Lydia Titiloye was seriously waiting on God for a future Partner. This was disheartening and touching as age was no longer on my side.

However, I never gave up on God. During this waiting period,

God used me to publish two books titled "Sexual Purity in Our Times" and "Feeds to the Top". And I also further my study for a postgraduate certificate where I graduated as the best overall in the department of Human Kinetics with Grade 'A' in my project. I also founded an NGO- Blessing Liberty Foundation International which is fully incorporated in Nigeria.

To the glory of God, God of suddenly answered my prayers at the beginning of the second half of the year 2018. My Cute Husband came into my life and within the space of five months and a week we got married. 

Also, God helped us to fulfill a vow of no kissing before marriage during our courtship. Ultimately, my Handsome Husband met me a VIRGIN which was the best of all gifts I could ever give Him.

This should serve as an encouragement to whosoever is waiting on God never to give up or compromise the godly values he or she is holding.

It's possible... you too can even if you have messed up there is a God of another chance.

NO KISSING BEFORE MARRIAGE

I learnt No Kissing Before Marriage from a friend of mine who is also preaching the gospel like me.

She committed her first abortion at age 15 by the time she was 24 she had committed 6 abortions with last a twin boy and girl.

Her womb and the fallopian tube were removed and all hope was lost.

Suddenly a handsome guy came for her hands in marriage. She told him everything but the guy was bent on marrying her.

He said he is not marrying her for procreation but for love.

These are people that have messed up completely and got born again. 

Therefore courted for six months and promised each other No Kissing before marriage and God blessed their marriage with a baby girl who is 8 years old now.

THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR YOU

She lost her virginity at age 25. How?

Robbers came to her parents' house where she stays and was raped turn by turn by them.

Suddenly she became pregnant and gave birth to twins.

What a scandal in the neighbourhood! 

They packed to another area. Then by age 35, another guy came for her hand in marriage not knowing that he was a 419. Suddenly she got pregnant the second time and gave birth to another twins making four kids. 

What a frustration but she was determined to get married and was serving God faithfully.

By age 48 she had lost hope but the God of suddenly-suddenly, "Olorun Sharp-Sharp" met her.

One day she saw her friend off to the airport and met a guy who got interested in her. He took his contact. One thing led to the other.

He asked for her hands in marriage. She told him she has four fatherless kids the guy said they would become his children that he doesn't need kids again.

Imagine a young man who has never been married before.

They had a societal wedding in Lagos and are now based in the USA.